I’ve been praying that the Lord lead me to be His tangible hands and feet on this earth, because I want life and I want it to the full, and the only way to complete joy is being used in His service.
Sometimes it is obvious when He wants me to do something. Sometimes He moves in my belly so strongly that I can do nothing but obey Him. But sometimes His voice comes to me in a whisper, so faint I wonder if I’m hearing Him or if it is my voice.
A few weeks ago in church this happened. I felt like I was supposed to reach out to a lady I’d never noticed before and reach out to one of my friends. As I vacillated about the lady in front of me, as I put it off and thought that I’d get to it after the service ended, she left. And as she walked out I knew what I was supposed to have done. But I didn’t, because I get all blubbery when I’m emotional, and I am almost always emotional when I feel the Spirit leading me to do something. In my mind I would have written the verse God put in my mind, then handed it to her, and as she was crying from something I did not know about, I would have cried in front of her, as worship was going on around us.
So I didn’t. But I did give a different, specific verse to a sweet friend of mine. I followed through on that one. A few days later she sent me an email to tell me that God had given her that verse again later in the week, reiterating what He wanted her to know. Her note confirmed to me that the verse I gave her was not from me but from our Lord, who loves us and longs to show His compassion.
Thinking about that woman in church, the one I let walk out as I sat cowardly in my seat, I ask myself: What is the worst that could have happened? What if that verse had been only from me?
Here’s the worst that could have happened: she would have thought I was strange. But I would not have died. Maybe each time she saw me after that she would have avoided me, but is that so terrible?
But what did happen is that I didn’t get to be Jesus’ hands and feet that day. He doesn’t need me to accomplish His task. As she walked out the doors of our church He may have opened her Bible so that her eyes could fall on that exact spot, He could have thrown the verse on a billboard only she would see. He could have done anything He chose. That day I didn’t get to experience her joy as Jesus enclosed her in His love. I missed it.
“God doesn’t need you and me to do His work. We are expedient messengers, ambassadors by His kindness, not by our cleverness.” *
If I were on a mission trip I could throw my entire soul into His work. I could unabashedly holler for Him. If people thought I was strange it would be okay because I wouldn’t see them again.
It gets tricky when I know I’ll see these people again, when I’m reaching out to my friends and neighbors. I will see them in the store, as I’m unloading my children from the car, at playdates. It’s scary to be thought of as an oddball.
But that is where I am. And so an oddball I will be. Because as I step out in faith He will be glorified.
What does the moon do? She generates no light. Contrary to the lyrics of the song, this harvest moon cannot shine on. Apart from the sun, the moon is nothing more than a gray, pockmarked rock. But properly positioned, the moon beams. Let her do what she was made to do, and a clod of dirt becomes a source of inspiration and a symbol of romance. The moon reflects the greater light. What would happen if we accepted our place as Son reflectors? What if we made our goal to shine with all the brightness of Christ? **