column

Opening up on this blog is hard for me.  That’s why I still don’t use real names for my husband or children.  Talk to me in public and I’ll gladly tell you their names and what we ate for breakfast, but getting down to the nitty-gritty on here isuncomfortable for me.

Last March I went through a very difficult few days because of my pregnancy.  I was fine, the baby was fine, but my hormones set out to tear me down, and tear me down they did.  I couldn’t talk about it for a while, and until now the only person who knew about it was my husband.  My mother didn’t know, my sister didn’t  know, not even my very closest friends knew, the same dear ones who I email for prayer at the slightest thing.  I never told anyone about this. 

But something in me needed to write about it.  So a few months ago I wrote a post and kept it in my queue, knowing at some point I would publish it, but I kept waiting for the right time.

Wednesday night as I thought about ideas for this week’s column I felt prodded to share this story, this very personal story.  Then yesterday morning I got on my knees and prayed for His guidance in opening up to many strangers, to many more than who read this blog.  And I knew it was the right thing to do.  So instead of publishing that post on my blog I sent it in for my column this week.

I am not exactly sure why it needed to be shared in such a public way.  But I’m hoping that it can help all of us moms, all of us women, who go through very hard days to know that all of us go through those dark times.  Maybe it will help us feel less alone.

So here it is: Me, in a very difficult time.