the column from June 4th:
No guarantees
By Erin Fox
Thursday morning I sat down to write my column about my choice to use cloth diapers and the funny stages I watched Hubby go through as he slowly realized I was serious about my decision, but then I started blog-reading and blog-hopping and I ended up at the blog of a Knoxville woman who just lost her 18-year old son because of a drug overdose and physical assault. (I’ll post the link on my blog for any of you who are interested.) After reading her story I could no longer remember half the column I’d prepared.
As I sat at my computer and read her story the back of my mind tried to rationalize that such a catastrophe could never happen to my family. Hubby and I talk every single night about how we each handled the kids with their tantrums and victories that day and what we might do the next day to improve. Every day I pray to our loving and ever-present Lord for His protection and guidance for our family; I pray specific verses with His promises to guard and lead my children through their lives.
But the truth is that there are no guarantees. Our Lord, while ever-present and ever-ready to jump into our lives if we’d only open the door to Him, never pushes His way in. That is the beauty (and tragedy?) of free will. It is our choice. So while Hubby and I may read Bible stories to our children every night, while we may pray with them and over them, the truth is that it is their individual decision to love God and follow Him, to live a life free of the heartaches of drugs and all that world brings. That is a hard truth to swallow.
Little Missy came in right as I started to cry over the mother watching her son slowly slip away. As my precious daughter asked yet again to color in my checkbook register–to which the answer has always been a clear-cut “No way, Little Lady”–I grabbed her and hugged her close. And my daughter whose love language is touch squirmed and squealed that she couldn’t breathe, even though she smiled and laughed as she said it. Then G came in to investigate the commotion and I grabbed him, too, and hugged the lean body of my boy who is growing everyday and no longer has the chubby body of a toddler.
And that is all I can do, right? Continue to love them, watch them closely, pray over them every single day and rely on the co-parenting of my husband. And then, when the trials come, rely on Jesus to grant me and Hubby wisdom to make it through.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Phenomenal!
I love how Jessie tags herself as “old friend of Kristen Franklin).
I have panic attacks just thinking about this. Sigh. Also- if you are still pregnant next wed we are going to ge totgether to play.