waiting

This morning was my weekly checkeroo with the doctor and Dr. M gave me the super exciting news that my body is not progressing at all.  AT ALL.  She told me I am dilated to a 1, but I honestly think she said that just because she felt bad for me.  I was dilated to a 1 a month out with G, and I was dilated to SIX STINKIN’ CENTIMETERS a week from my due date with Little Missy, which would be Saturday in this pregnancy timeline.

So why is my body not progressing now?  Why on my third pregnancy am I not going earlier than I did with the other two?  Stinkin’…

I am trying really hard to be patient.  I am a week and a half from my due date, and even if I go over, I will have a baby soon.  Baby Chickadee ain’t stayin’ in there forever.

I’ve also been praying about it many times throughout the day.  With my first two pregnancies I made myself crazy in the last month as I waited (G because he was my first baby and I wanted to hold him; Little Missy because I had Braxton-Hicks contractions every five minutes for the last three weeks [EXHAUSTING] and I wanted to hold her) and this time around I don’t want to live in that state of hyper-awareness.  With every move of the baby the question of “Now?  Is that a contraction?  Am I going into labor now?  Will I even make it through the night before the baby comes?”  Because hour after hour of that ever-readiness is emotionally draining.  So I am trying to give it over to God.  He blessed us with another baby when we didn’t even know how much we wanted another one; He loves me more than I can imagine, loves Baby Chickadee more than I can imagine, He wants the best for us, and I am asking Him to take over the time line of her birth.

But it’s hard.  The tips on acupressure to induce labor, my friend’s offer to get ahold of her friend who is a reflexologist and might be able to help my body along, the many other stories I’ve heard over the years of how women got themselves to go into labor–I want to try all of them.  Let’s get this party started, you might say.

But I am praying for His timing.

Every night before putting the kids in bed Hubby reads to them out of a Devotions for Preschoolers book and it was so beautifully appropriate to my day, it was none other than our sweet God letting me know He is hearing me and taking care of me.

the Bible verse:

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.” Psalm 130:5

the prayer:

“Lord, it’s sometimes hard to wait,

But what you have is very great.”

Amen .