large and in charge

Right before Hubby left town a few weeks ago (he’s almost home now!  hooray!) I must have been standing at a different angle than normal or wearing a different shirt or something because Hubby finally noticed how ginormous my belly had gotten.  With his usual panache he calmly exclaimed, “Whoa.  Your belly is large and in charge.”

Let me take a moment to point out what he did right: he said my BELLY is large and in charge.  He did not say that I am large and in charge.  Hubby, that is correct.  Now all the other men whose wives have not smacked them for being ridiculous need to learn it, too: NEVER say that a pregnant woman is getting big.  SHE is not; her BELLY is.  No matter how much water weight she gains in her face or how big her bottom gets or how closely her ankles resemble cankles SHE IS NOT BIG.  HER BELLY IS.  What really drives me crazy is when a woman says “Look how big you’re getting!”  Lady, if you’ve carried a child in your womb then you should know better.  Okay, I’m taking off the caps lock now.

So back to me and Hubby discussing my huge belly.  He wondered if my belly was this big during the other two pregnancies and I don’t know.  Why is my belly bothering me more now than it did with the other two?  I think it’s because my pregnancy clothes are already getting short and I have more than two months until Baby Tres makes her appearance.  Two more months of my belly growing and getting more in my way and making it more difficult to stoop down and pick up toys off the floor and polish my toe nails. 

A few days later I was at my ob appointment when the doctor casually mentioned that my belly was measuring two weeks ahead.

What???  What does this mean?

Apparently nothing.  It’s just the way I’m made.  It doesn’t mean that I’m two weeks closer to delivering Baby Tres.  It DOES, however, mean that I’m right when I say that my belly is massive.  So at least I’m not totally crazy.